Single, male, not seeking marriage
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Cinnamon
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Single, male, not seeking marriage
Quote: The number of single males has soared rapidly in recent years. Their uncertainty is deeply rooted. The economic crisis has exacerbated it.

"I am a male (27) from Western Civilization. (I) Won't marry or get kids, because I have no desire to pay support to a lazy woman" - these were the words recently written in the Mamablog of the "Tages-Anzeiger". And: "The young European women can let themselves impregnate by men from the Balkans, Middle East or North Africa and marry them. I don't care; I have my car, my drugs and my whores. What this means for the female future - in other words, your rights in our civilization, you can picture yourself. Devil-may-care. Millions of western males think this way." A weirdo? "Millions think this way." An exaggeration? By no means.

The German Bureau of Statistics has recently published a report about people living alone. While the percentage of single females has gone up by 16% since 1991, the one of single males has soared by 81%. This development affects particularly young males in their marriageable age: 27% of the 18-34 olds live alone these days. In the so-called intermediate age - from 35 on - the proportion of single males is significantly higher than of single females. 60% of single males between 35 and 64 have never been married; the Bureau labels them as "True Junggesellen." They account to 7 million in absolute numbers - 7 million males in their marriageable age who refuse to be in a relationship with a woman.


Hotel Mama becoming more popular

There is no comparable analysis for Switzerland. Looking up the figures of the Bureau of Statistics in Neuchatel reveals that 488,632 persons lived alone in the year 2000, in 2010 there were as many as 581,281. This amounts to an increase by almost 100,000 people within 10 years. In 2000, 8.4% of males were living alone; In 2010, the percentage was 18,2% - more than twice as high. Christoph Freymond, vice section chief of the Bureau, comments laconically: "The development in Switzerland is even more accentuated than in Germany."

These numbers are boosted by another development on the male side: While young women, unlike in the past, leave their parents early, young males stay longer - unlike in the past, too. Around 40% of the 18 - 25 olds stay in "Hotel Mama"; of the 30 years olds, 15% do, and of the 40 years olds, at least 5% live with their mothers.

In Switzerland, the community of interest called "Antifeminism" has released several marriage warnings. Their message: "Marriage may result in financial, medical, societal and occupational ruin. In our <Rechtsstaat> (Constitutional State), you may encounter divorce against your will and without you having conducted unlawful behavior, your children may be withdrawn from you with you being barred from taking care of them. The accusation of sexual abuse can be levied against you and confirmed through a court verdict, and in addition, you may be dragged below the poverty line as a result of support payment."

These concerns as such and as a blunt reality are repeatedly written in several divorce-forums across the internet, but also addressed in outreach clinics, couple therapies or male victim groups, such as the interest group of divorced and separated males (IGM). While marriage was viewed as a "safe harbor" in the past, today it is associated with the dangers of risk by young males, the likelihood of failure and the prospect of collapse. In fact, every second marriage is divorced in Switzerland.

The marriage span has also decreased rapidly: The "cursed seventh year" has transformed into the fourth. Roughly 30% of marriages fail in the 5th year. After a period of emancipation and the revision of divorce laws, almost 2/3 of divorces are filed by women. This is another field where males view themselves in the defense line. If unmarried couples are added into the consideration, 85% of break-ups are initiated by women.

Marriage and wedlock are not the only traditions subject to dramatic changes. With gender relationships, work- and power balance between woman and man, and family law fundamentals, it is not much different. The developments can be summarized in a way that the American gender expert Peggy Drexler did in the "Huffington Post": "For women, the changes mean freedom, options and departure; for males, they mean confusion." The German-speaking sociologist consequently labels women as emancipation-winners and men as emancipation-losers.


Recession hits males harder

In the United States, which is always a few years ahead in terms of development, the recent economic crisis was primarily a male crisis; as such, they don't talk about recession, but "he-cession". The sociologist Hanna Rosin draws this fall in the bestseller "The end of males" in an accurate way. "The industries that were hit hardest had overwhelmingly male employees and a widespread macho-image: Construction, industry production, finance management." For more than three years, "more women than men were employed for the first time in US-history". Almost 80% of women in the USA are employed; the respective proportion for males has fallen from 90% to 65%. One-fifth of males has completely missed the connection to the job world.

The role of the male as a bread winner is outdated. In almost half of families, women contribute substantially to income; males take care of the household more and more frequently. "From a feministic viewpoint, the recent social, political and economic gains of women are consistently portrayed as a slow, arduous race in the ongoing battle for equality. But apparently, the changes are much more radical: The women don't just catch up, they become the standard, on which success is measured", notes Rosin.

When parents proudly imagine seeing their child growing up, they usually have a girl in front of their spiritual eyes nowadays and not a boy any more. No wonder: Girls are more successful in schools already, as they are in universities and many occupations. Girls are more flexible, commited and curious. Boys on the other hand are retarded. They have a hard time adapting to the new conditions. In other words: They encounter growing problems, but have no solutions to them.

This has been confirmed empirically numerous times in the German Sinus-study about concepts of life and role images of 20-year old females and males. It states a "significant suffering from the complexity, disarray and dymanics of society". The young males fear that "in reality, the women make important decisions and don't need them, the men, any longer". They are not only confused "with regard to career options and job market, but they have lost all certainty in the private life". They feel drawn back and not taken seriously according to the study."The males suffer from their subjective perception and feel in the defensive: The women write the script." The young males are haunted by the fear that they could become "superfluous".


Stance of rejection

One answer is the life as single. "Why should a man arrange a family? He can have a wonderful life without", raves a young man in the Berlin's city magazine "Zitty". And many share his opinion nowadays. If things are viewed in the long-run, many things aren't that great, though. Men who live alone become sick more frequently, suffer from depression more often and die earlier than their married counterparts. Even in terms of materialism, the single male is not consistently a model of success. In Germany, almost 20% of men living alone live on government support. This means that the proportion of those living on welfare is three times higher than for married ones.

The American psychologist Helen Smith talks about a dramatic development in her recently published book "Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why it Matters". She thinks that more and more young males are on strike, because the societal trend is becoming more anti-male, and they are more and more deprived from their future opportunities. This leaves them with the only answer to reject themselves in terms of work, relationship and procreation. This may sound exaggerated, but it contains some truth for our latutides as well.

For a long time, sociologist have been seeing the tendency among those men to withdraw from their societal responsibility, along with the threat of a surging male lower class. The consequences are noticeable already: There is a lack of apprentices in the labor market, as well as qualified workers: The social systems are excessively burdened by the drop-outs; the birth rate is declining, and the demographic imbalance is widening.

Even women are affected; their mate options are becoming more exhausting. In her book, Hanna Rosin quotes a career woman with the words: "The men are either intimidated by me (and my salary), or they can not afford a woman like me." Actually, it's even worse: Many young men don't want to afford a women first place.

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewt...hp?t=19225
2013 Jun 28 10:55
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Dussander
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Post: #2
RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
Quote:The young European women can let themselves impregnate by men from the Balkans, Middle East or North Africa and marry them

LOL

On topic, the current state of flux is arguably one of the worst disasters ever to hit mankind. The West is hollow, like the minds of its masses. Maybe this is some kind of great culling of the weak-minded, who knows.

We must dissent.

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2013 Jun 28 16:15
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Torkilsdottir
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Post: #3
RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
Quote:I don't care; I have my car, my drugs and my whores.

Nobody would want to marry him. Prick.

This guy's attitude is reflects the new type of sexism.

2013 Jun 28 17:05
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W. R.
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RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 10:55)Cinnamon Wrote:  60% of single males between 35 and 64 have never been married

This is madness. How come the cultural values have changed so rapidly? Starting a family is a must. Ask your grandparents, and they'll tell you the same.

[...] just as it is not left unto us to choose our ancestors, so we may not choose our nation; we can only fulfil, or not fulfil, the obligations that come from being a member of our people’.
© Dr. Jan Stankievič ‘From the History of Belarus’

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2013 Jun 28 17:21
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Post: #5
RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 17:05)Torkilsdottir Wrote:  
Quote:I don't care; I have my car, my drugs and my whores.

Nobody would want to marry him. Prick.

This guy's attitude is reflects the new type of sexism.

(2013 Jun 28 17:21)Whiteruthenian Wrote:  
(2013 Jun 28 10:55)Cinnamon Wrote:  60% of single males between 35 and 64 have never been married

This is madness. How come the cultural values have changed so rapidly? Starting a family is a must. Ask your grandparents, and they'll tell you the same.

Well I think Tork basically answered your question there, WR. The cultural value among some, dare I say even *many*, men now is that women are whores, at the very least "bitches". Sex is no longer linked to anything having to do with family values and much less to values emphasizing procreation in order to maintain a culture, society or a civilisation. Sex has become much more of a purchasable and readily consumable commodity without requiring any interpersonal or deeper philosophical connection.

Yes there's always been a sex trade. But this kind of a mentality cuts way deeper than that. The odd John roaming the street, as unsavoury a notion as that can be, didn't really undermine Civilisation that greatly, comparatively-speaking. This kind of guy with this kind of a mentality however does. And how.

~Be the Virtuous Man or Woman you are meant to be.~
2013 Jun 28 17:33
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Dussander
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RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 17:05)Torkilsdottir Wrote:  
Quote:I don't care; I have my car, my drugs and my whores.

Nobody would want to marry him. Prick.

This guy's attitude is reflects the new type of sexism.

And how many women are doing the same? "I don't care; I have my car, my career and shopping with my girlfriends." Only the toys are different.

We must dissent.

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2013 Jun 28 18:01
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W. R.
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RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 17:33)Aemma Wrote:  Well I think Tork basically answered your question there, WR. The cultural value among some, dare I say even *many*, men now is that women are whores, at the very least "bitches". Sex is no longer linked to anything having to do with family values and much less to values emphasizing procreation in order to maintain a culture, society or a civilisation.

The state should do something about it. To ban something, to launch a campaign, to execute someone... Damn democratically elected politicians the only thing they care about is to be re-elected in 4 years.

I used to work in a local newspaper, whose editor was a man who had never been married. He was 37 or 38 back then. According to a journalist who used to be a member of the Soviet communist party, in the USSR a single male of that age could not become an editor of a newspaper: in the USSR not having a family at the age of 3X was considered nearly a(nti)social behaviour.

[...] just as it is not left unto us to choose our ancestors, so we may not choose our nation; we can only fulfil, or not fulfil, the obligations that come from being a member of our people’.
© Dr. Jan Stankievič ‘From the History of Belarus’

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2013 Jun 28 18:09
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RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 18:09)Whiteruthenian Wrote:  The state should do something about it. To ban something, to launch a campaign, to execute someone... Damn democratically elected politicians the only thing they care about is to be re-elected in 4 years.

Well there are a great many things that politicians *ought* to do, first and foremost is to grow a backbone, as far as I'm concerned. There are measures that could be taken of course through proper politically appropriate channels of course. The problem though is that, for the most part, once people have had a taste of certain "liberties" or what they deem to be their own "human rights" (and I use the term loosely here), such as having the "right" to purchase and consume x, y or z, it becomes next to impossible to revoke such things, lest a society wish to incur some form of a revolution. It seems to me that most people today are not the stuff that revolutions are made of. :/

Quote:I used to work in a local newspaper, whose editor was a man who had never been married. He was 37 or 38 back then. According to a journalist who used to be a member of the Soviet communist party, in the USSR a single male of that age could not become an editor of a newspaper: in the USSR not having a family at the age of 3X was considered nearly a(nti)social behaviour.

Well I can tell you that this would have been questioned here too in North America and had been up until perhaps the 70's. The 60's still was tamer and more traditional on the whole than we think. Most would have pegged the unmarried guy for a homosexual. And homosexuals typically were not elevated to higher ranks in any industry or businesses. It would have been looked upon as strange at the very least and would definitely have raised most people's eyebrows.

~Be the Virtuous Man or Woman you are meant to be.~
2013 Jun 28 18:27
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Cinnamon
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Post: #9
RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 17:21)Whiteruthenian Wrote:  
(2013 Jun 28 10:55)Cinnamon Wrote:  60% of single males between 35 and 64 have never been married

This is madness. How come the cultural values have changed so rapidly? Starting a family is a must. Ask your grandparents, and they'll tell you the same.

Oh, is that so? Whats about priests in celibacy?
2013 Jun 28 18:58
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Cinnamon
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RE: Single, male, not seeking marriage
(2013 Jun 28 17:33)Aemma Wrote:  Well I think Tork basically answered your question there, WR. The cultural value among some, dare I say even *many*, men now is that women are whores, at the very least "bitches". Sex is no longer linked to anything having to do with family values and much less to values emphasizing procreation in order to maintain a culture, society or a civilisation. Sex has become much more of a purchasable and readily consumable commodity without requiring any interpersonal or deeper philosophical connection.

Yes there's always been a sex trade. But this kind of a mentality cuts way deeper than that. The odd John roaming the street, as unsavoury a notion as that can be, didn't really undermine Civilisation that greatly, comparatively-speaking. This kind of guy with this kind of a mentality however does. And how.

In the past, there where two forms of women: Saints and Whores. Saints was for marriage, Whores for sex. Today, we have Whonts or Saires mostly. Not good for this or for that.

I'm proud to live in celibacy and I have no attitude to change this! Sex is boring, and it is the biggest enemy of a man!
2013 Jun 28 19:06
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